Penpusher
Posted: 2022-08-04T03:51:12+10:00 In:

After finding out his moms artificial heart is failing, a low level hacker navigates a seedy cyberpunk underworld to do whatever it takes to keep her alive.

Seems very bland to me, it gets the point across but it feels a little blah. This is my first time doing anything like this.

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    1. Logliner

      Hi biscayneCreative,

      I think you should relate “a seedy cyberpunk underworld” to “his mom’s artificial heart that is failing”. I mean what is he looking for in a seedy cyberpunk underworld? What is he hoping to achieve by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? How can he save his mom’s life by navigating a seedy cyberpunk underworld? Also IF something is stopping him? Any challenges (if any)?

      I suggest you re-write and ask again.

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