After her father’s bankruptcy, a high school student determined to attend Harvard must outwit two high school teachers who involve her in a cruel wager to determine whether two students can be made to fall in love.
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After her father’s bankruptcy, a high school student determined to attend Harvard must outwit two high school teachers who involve her in a cruel wager to determine whether two students can be made to fall in love.
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There’s a disconnect here between the inciting incident and the goal. Harvard is expensive… so is she trying to get a scholarship? If so, we kinda need to know that. What relevance does the wager have on her journey to Harvard? If she successfully outwits the two teachers, it doesn’t guarantee a place in Harvard so what’s the connection?
Writing a logline is some seriously hard work. This logline has a familiar ring to it. I am reminded of a movie named Dogfight. The film is about a dirty game played on innocents. Everyone gets their just desserts. Check it out. Viewing the movie may help you to clarify your logline.