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songo marcelPenpusher
Posted: December 19, 20212021-12-19T21:30:23+10:00 2021-12-19T21:30:23+10:00In: Action

After the death of his employer, a devoted bodyguard is far from knowing he has inherited all plus the old demons of his employer of which he has to fight to save his life and that of the daughter of the deceased with whom he has a secret affair

Sunarbic

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Odie Samurai
      2021-12-24T01:21:32+10:00Added an answer on December 24, 2021 at 1:21 am

      With your genre as action, are these demons spiritual or physical?

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      • songo marcel Penpusher
        2021-12-24T19:27:08+10:00Replied to answer on December 24, 2021 at 7:27 pm

        Physical. Nothing supernatural.
        Just to represent the forces against him.

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        • Odie Samurai
          2021-12-27T13:28:21+10:00Replied to answer on December 27, 2021 at 1:28 pm

          Capitalized on his skills, gave the employer an identity, injected some intrigue for the daughter.
          Leaning towards:
          “A devoted bodyguard must fight to protect the daughter of a murdered CEO when inheriting his dead employer’s nefarious debts”

          Hope this helps, take care.

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    2. Best Answer
      Lotcher Samurai
      2021-12-25T08:57:39+10:00Added an answer on December 25, 2021 at 8:57 am

      Hey Songo,

      I read your logline and liked the premise but I felt as though the word length detracted from the whole “pitch” aspect as it needs to be more direct to be considered more effective as a logline. Here’s a rewritten logline for your consideration:

      When a devoted bodyguard inherits his dead employer’s debts he must fight for the lives of both himself and the daughter of the deceased, with whom his affairs are becoming evermore prevalent.

      Merry Christmas.

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