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oceanlegendsPenpusher
Posted: December 4, 20182018-12-04T00:07:54+10:00 2018-12-04T00:07:54+10:00In: Noir

Aged out of foster care, Eric Grid needs to learn magic to defend himself from psychic attacks on his path to become rich in the poker tournaments controlled by the mafia.

Aged out of foster care, Eric Grid needs to learn magic to defend himself from psychic attacks on his path to become rich in the poker tournaments controlled by the mafia.
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    1. Hutchy13 Penpusher
      2020-07-06T12:18:11+10:00Added an answer on July 6, 2020 at 12:18 pm

      This logline is good but the structure is off. The best structure for a logline involves the three elements; the event, the character and the action. These elements must be organised into the sentence structure of; “when [an event] happens, a [character] must [the action]”. For this logline your event would be “When he becomes aged out of foster care” and your action would be “he learns magic to defend himself from psychic attacks”. Your character is completely wrong since you must use a character description and not their name, e.g. “a retired old man”.

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