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WayneLogliner
Posted: July 2, 20162016-07-02T14:27:34+10:00 2016-07-02T14:27:34+10:00In: Thriller

An attention seeking YouTube prankster shames and bribes a violent scammer resulting in a battle beyond entertainment.

An attention seeking YouTube prankster shames and bribes a violent scammer resulting in a battle beyond entertainment.
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    1. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-07-03T04:05:39+10:00Added an answer on July 3, 2016 at 4:05 am

      “An attention seeking YouTube prankster shames and bribes a violent scammer resulting in a battle beyond entertainment.”

      -What is his goal?
      -What does he do to achieve it?

      I don’t think “YouTube prankster” is any good in the logline. That may be what he is, but it is too vague. Attention seeking is the trait. ? Now, what type of pranks? Malicious? ?Does he record people sitting on whoopy cushions? What does he do? That helps to define what type of character he is. It helps define exactly what he’ll do to get the attention he seeks.

      Example:?When an infamous scammer?cons??a famous YouTube practical joker, the joker plans to play a trick on the scammer and post a video to bring more viewers to his channel.?(~31 words).
      That’s kind of weak because I couldn’t think of a trick so it’s vague, but the joker has a goal, in fact, a two-for-one deal: to embarrass the scammer, and to bring more of the attention he seeks. What does he do to achieve it? He plays whatever trick on the scammer, recording it and posting it on his channel.
      Now, for your story and logline, answer those two questions
      What is his goal? What does he do to achieve it?

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    2. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-07-04T07:35:48+10:00Added an answer on July 4, 2016 at 7:35 am

      “When scammed and assaulted by a dodgy tradesman a professional clown prankster launches a pranking revenge and learns that deceit isn?t always funny.”

      From reading this I still don’t know his goal. “a pranking revenge” is too vague. So, specifically, what does he do to achieve his goal?
      For example, say a character’s goal was to get revenge, as you state. Do they then enlist a group of highly trained soldiers to kill their objective? Do they hatch a plan to frame this person for murder and ruin their life? Or, more comedic, do they design and build a silly obstacle course and record this person going through?
      The inciting incident is also vague. What kind of scam? What kind of assault? Is it sexual assault? Mental? Emotional?
      “?learns that deceit isn?t always funny.” Can be cut completely. It does not describe the major plot of the story.

      Example:?When a sensational YouTube clown is conned into giving giving up his car, he crafts his best joke video yet to embarrass and expose the infamous con artist.?(~28 words)
      Goal: To embarrass con artist.
      Method: Create a prank video.

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