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thedarkhorseSamurai
An ex-con, a victim of childhood sexual abuse, sets out to kill a reformed paedophile, only to fall for the man’s protective sister.
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So he falls for the sister, and then what?
This doesn’t describe a story as much as an infatuation while using trigger words aplenty to boot.
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It’s strange though… The first time I posted this it got quite a positive response ha.
https://loglines.org/logline/an-ex-con-travels-back-to-his-hometown-to-kill-a-reformed-child-molester-only-to-fall-in-love-with-the-mans-protective-sister/
Perhaps lose the “victim of childhood sexual abuse”? I don’t understand what you mean by trigger words ha.
He falls for the sister, steadily grows to emphasize with this man to the point of even defending him. All whilst keeping his own demons at bay.
Then a rumour about the reformed paedophile begins to spiral out of control and once again the ex-con is tested.
His goal: complete parole. He wants to move without making any waves. This is incredibly hard with a “monster” next door.
?
Even after your explanation, there doesn’t seem to be a story in the concept.
What you do have is part of a premise – an ex-con falls for aa pedophile’s sister. It’s almost a boy meets girl plot, where the boy has a dark past, and presumably, his past will keep them apart somehow. Whether it’s his criminal record, his child abuse experience or his need to kill her brother, it’s something about him that’s preventing them from getting together. He has to overcome said force for the sake of their relationship. Since these are all inner forces keeping them apart, it’s not very cinematic.
Otherwise, if it’s not the love story, what is his goal? To make it to the end of his parol period without committing a crime, doesn’t seem very compelling. If this is the case, the inciting event is his release from jail – a fact he knew was going to happen on a particular day. In other words, this is not an out of the ordinary event that changed his world and made him need to take action for fear of a consequence.
There is an element of love story to it. It’s a small drama.
His macro intention: to move forward with his life. He wants change. He wants to be his best self.
His obstacles: his past. His past demons. The paedophile next door. Getting involved with the paedophile’s sister. The town. His friends and family who constantly treat him like the violent man he use to be. Then add in – when he’s finally forced to pick a side. There’s a lot of conflict here.
Also – his own fragile mindset is an obstacle. He is self sabotaging and he doesn’t want to self sabotage.
The I.I. is learning there’s a reformed paedophile next door – which works as a trigger/disturbance. He can’t stop thinking about this man. The nightmares begin awake, etc. He sleeps with a gun under his pillow. Keeps the light on.
He’s terrified of this man/hates this man – which is why his character arc is so potent when he becomes merciful. Somewhat compassionate.