Penpusher
Posted: 2019-05-27T06:12:19+10:00 In:

An extraterrestrial warrior raised on planet Earth must fight a threat from his own species to protect the future of the planet.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      Hi Victor,

      This is Superman at first glance, or Thor or….. you get my point.

      Stories are about people and emotions. This normally demonstrated via how they handle a struggle. So what can you tell me that makes this story standout.

      For Superman,

      Keeping his identity secret to live a normal life an extraterrestrial warrior must defeat an enemy from his birth planet to save the planet he was raised on.

       

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    2. Singularity

      CraigDGriffith’s? review underscores a problem with this logline: it is in danger of falling (and therefore failing) into the trap of being associated? with other extra-terrestrial super warrior-superheros like Thor and Superman.? So the logline needs to better define and differentiate the character from other out-of-this-world supers.

      I think the logline also needs a clearer statement of the threat and, hence, the stakes.? Exactly what is the threat?? What must be protected?? All life on earth?? Or just all humans?? (And? if the latter, why would the extraterrestrial betray his own species and side with humans?? Seems like there is an implied dilemma in the premise.)

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    3. Logliner

      I like the idea of the character being conflicted so that he has to fight his own species, but I’d echo the other comments – I want to know what makes him different, and what the stakes are.

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