An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.
DoubleXXLogliner
An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.
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Is a little ambiguous whether this is the same person.? Maybe you could do something like -? “An overworked suburban mother who is a part-time hit woman – – ”
The close proximity of “struggle” and “juggle” is a bit of a tongue twister.
With a common premise like this, it needs something to set it apart from the rest.? Maybe by way of stakes. What’s at stake if she isn’t a hit woman?
e.g.?? An overworked suburban mother must become a part-time hit woman when her child is abducted – – “
This doesn’t describe a plot, rather a situation.
Here are some questions to help you draft it again, try and include the answers to them:
What is her inciting incident?
What motivates her to need to take action?
What is her goal?
I just want? you to continue working on this idea.
It needs work as is, however the idea of stressed? fenle? hitman has some
bite to it.??????? Sort of like Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Maybe a dark comedy?
You know, so many loglines here are just farfetched. Filled with ghosts, and
zombies, and? aliens. …. blah, blah, blah.
In my opinion, the concept at least has merit.
Agree with Zentaneous.
It sets up an interesting Act 1 situation. ?Now what’s the plot that arises out of the situation? ?It needs a (brief) description of Act 2 to be complete.
Hey guys,
Below is the updated Logline – your thoughts welcome, thanks.
A cash strapped hit-woman, must confront the demons of her past, while juggling the bone crunching world of professional hits and the guardianship of her deceased sisters kids.