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DoubleXXLogliner
Posted: June 21, 20162016-06-21T00:13:53+10:00 2016-06-21T00:13:53+10:00In: Drama

An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.

An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.
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    5 Reviews

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    1. Best Answer
      Wayne Logliner
      2016-06-21T09:58:16+10:00Added an answer on June 21, 2016 at 9:58 am

      Is a little ambiguous whether this is the same person.? Maybe you could do something like -? “An overworked suburban mother who is a part-time hit woman – – ”

      The close proximity of “struggle” and “juggle” is a bit of a tongue twister.

      With a common premise like this, it needs something to set it apart from the rest.? Maybe by way of stakes. What’s at stake if she isn’t a hit woman?

      e.g.?? An overworked suburban mother must become a part-time hit woman when her child is abducted – – “

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    2. Best Answer
      Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-06-21T14:38:37+10:00Added an answer on June 21, 2016 at 2:38 pm

      This doesn’t describe a plot, rather a situation.

      Here are some questions to help you draft it again, try and include the answers to them:
      What is her inciting incident?
      What motivates her to need to take action?
      What is her goal?

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    3. Best Answer
      Zentaneous Logliner
      2016-07-05T09:25:34+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2016 at 9:25 am

      I just want? you to continue working on this idea.

      It needs work as is, however the idea of stressed? fenle? hitman has some
      bite to it.??????? Sort of like Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

      Maybe a dark comedy?

      You know, so many loglines here are just farfetched. Filled with ghosts, and
      zombies, and? aliens. …. blah, blah, blah.

      In my opinion, the concept at least has merit.

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    4. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2016-07-05T10:14:13+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2016 at 10:14 am

      Agree with Zentaneous.

      It sets up an interesting Act 1 situation. ?Now what’s the plot that arises out of the situation? ?It needs a (brief) description of Act 2 to be complete.

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    5. Best Answer
      DoubleXX Logliner
      2017-03-18T01:15:43+10:00Added an answer on March 18, 2017 at 1:15 am

      Hey guys,

      Below is the updated Logline – your thoughts welcome, thanks.

      A cash strapped hit-woman, must confront the demons of her past, while juggling the bone crunching world of professional hits and the guardianship of her deceased sisters kids.

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