Logliner
Posted: 2018-04-05T09:08:29+10:00 In:

An up-and-coming, LA-based actor is about to have his “big break” meeting with a star-director when he abruptly gets news from his casual-girlfriend, Rachel, that she’s pregnant, unplanned, which begins a twist-filled night that escalates to an explosive climax between Dae and Rachel.

An up-and-coming, LA-based actor is about to have his “big break” meeting with a star-director when he abruptly gets news from his casual-girlfriend, Rachel, that she’s pregnant, unplanned, which begins a twist-filled night that escalates to an explosive climax between Dae and Rachel.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      Medical abortion has been shown to be effective through the first trimester (12 weeks) and has been successfully used during the second trimester.

      If he just got the news that his girlfriend is pregnant (unplanned) they still have enough time to worry!

      So relax, he can have his big break meeting and they can decide it over coffee in the evening…

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    2. Logliner

      During one epic night, ?a struggling actor must juggle an unplanned pregnancy, an egomaniacal director, and his own quest for stardom, making him weigh his dreams and priorities.

      This is an existential quest story right, a man facing his whole life in one night, correct? ?The gravity of that needs to be incorporated in the logline.

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    3. Singularity

      This fails to create a stake that can carry a plot – terminate the pregnancy, end of story.

      Unless, of course, she refuses to terminate, in which case the onus is on her to raise the child without a father – it ain’t going to be nice, but once again his career is unaffected

      Sorry for the cynicism but if they can’t afford to raise a child they should not have it – now day and age one has to be real.

      There is no existential quest here, just a matter of prioritisation, career or family and he clearly prioritises his career over family – so, there, question answered…

      I simply can’t see a plot that can sustain a feature in this.

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    4. Penpusher

      You don’t need names of characters but you should have an adjective to describe their personality – e.g.

      “A confident up-and-coming, LA-based actor is about to have his ?big break? meeting with an eccentric star-director but his neurotic casual-girlfriend reveals that she?s pregnant and is certain he’s the father, bringing everything he’s worked for crashing down.”

      It could work better if she appears out-of-the-blue, and could give birth any second.

      Hope this helps.

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