Penpusher
Posted: 2018-01-24T09:52:45+10:00 In:

Any criticism is welcome

Due to IVF and genetic changes humanity only exist in the future as twins or multiple births. A self-proclaimed leader decides that the natural balance has to be restored by what he calls natural selection.
The tormented genius ?Daggy? Pollux fights against the execution of his love interest who’s been selected as the weaker one.

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    1 Review

    1. Samurai

      I love the concept, though the first two sentences could be condensed while still giving all the same info essentially. Perhaps try something along the lines of: ‘Humanity has evolved to a point where pregnant women always carry multiple children, and only the best sibling will live.’

      For your final sentence, I would drop the lead’s name, change ‘love interest’ to ‘woman he loves’,? and ‘selected as the weaker one’ could be shortened to ‘deemed unworthy (or weak).’

      • 0