As a cops races against time to prevent another murder, his own, as he struggles to forgive himself against the misguided belief he?s liable for all these murders.
CaptainMayI19ppLogliner
As a cops races against time to prevent another murder, his own, as he struggles to forgive himself against the misguided belief he?s liable for all these murders.
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Captain,
As is, you have 2 run on sentences sandwiched between “his own”. I suggest you redo the syntax.
Don’t indicate that his main internal struggle is misguided. We need to find that out on our own.
I assume you are using time travel or something here?
Pick one inciting event and one goal.
What forces the cop into action in your story? Is it a particular murder or a series of them?
As a result the goal is to catch the killer, but what’s standing in his way? I don’t mean the obvious procedural fare – killer is on the run, rather what is it about this particular killer that makes catching him or her harder and more unique than other film and TV killers?
It reads as if you’re trying to indicate that the cop is the killer,? just without saying it specifically. If this is the case, you’de need to find a unique way to deal with a split personality story as they have become some what of a trope.
What the others have said.
And “struggles to forgive himself…” relates to his subjective need. ?However critical it is to script, it is superfluous for the purpose of a logline. ?Loglines should focus on the struggle for an objective goal against an ?specific antagonist and/or a specific insurmountable obstacle.