BLOODLUST When a peace-loving Hindu man witnesses his brother and girlfriend murdered in a convenience store robbery it triggers one of his past lives as an 8th Century Norse Berserker. Now he must fight to control the bloodlust before it destroys him and more innocent lives.
FmaSamurai
BLOODLUST When a peace-loving Hindu man witnesses his brother and girlfriend murdered in a convenience store robbery it triggers one of his past lives as an 8th Century Norse Berserker. Now he must fight to control the bloodlust before it destroys him and more innocent lives.
Share
The logline seems like a variant of ?the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome. ?Which always has dramatic possibilities. ?However…
>>>When a peace-loving Hindu man witnesses his brother and girlfriend murdered in a convenience store robbery
can be reduced to :?When a peace-loving Hindu witnesses the murder of his brother and girlfriend
>>>Now he must fight to control the bloodlust before
Well, his Hindu personality loses the fight, right? ?The Norse “Beserker” (whatever that is) wins. ?Because that is what the genre demands, that characters act out their worst impulses. ?So isn’t the plot really about what happens after the chthonic Norse character breaks out?
The goal needs clarification, what is it he must achieve as a result of the murders?
Him controlling the split personality is a side effect of the plot, his goal will define the plot but is missing in the logline.
I agree with Nir Shelter that?the goal needs clarification. As stated, the logline focuses on the risk of collateral damage of his internal conflict and external struggle — that innocents may suffer in the process. ?But it doesn’t state what the external struggle is, what he must do for justice to prevail. ?(Or is it a matter of pure blood lust revenge, ?the law be damned?)
I guess that he basically needs to not kill anyone while he is lusting for blood. I dunno.
Use Hindi not Hindu man, you already use ‘his’ so we know it is a male. Lose itemizing who died and perhaps say ‘something like the? murder of those he loved’ forget the convenience store too, seems a bit stereotypical finding a a Hindi there. Go with ‘past memories’ instead of lives
BLOODLUST
The dormant past life as an 8th Century Norse Berserker is sparked in a modern day peace loving Hindu man after he witnesses his loved ones murdered in a robbery. ?Now he must fight to control the growing bloodlust before it destroys him.