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TigerlilPenpusher
Posted: June 20, 20212021-06-20T13:38:43+10:00 2021-06-20T13:38:43+10:00In: Drama

When a suicidal woman rediscovers the letters from her imprisoned lover sent 4o years ago she decides to reply. Her reply leads to a deeper understanding of how self-forgiveness after a tragedy can be the hardest thing of all to overcome.

Dear Max, it’s been awhile.

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    6 Reviews

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    1. Tempest Penpusher
      2021-06-20T16:13:15+10:00Added an answer on June 20, 2021 at 4:13 pm

      Sounds more like a romance to me! Love the concept.

      Given that self-forgiveness sometimes plays out for both characters at some point, flipping it to the love-interest’s story, this could be their logline:

      “When a man is heartbroken after the love of his life leaves him and he subconsciously holds onto her by continuing to work on their dream business, he must break free of his chains and declare his love after realising it is their divine love that brings him true happiness, not the business he has almost killed himself to keep alive.”

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      • Tigerlil Penpusher
        2021-06-20T17:37:12+10:00Replied to answer on June 20, 2021 at 5:37 pm

        Thanks for the feedback. It’s not a traditional love story. The main character never left him. The mystery is revealed through her reply. The tragedy was not their love but another loss which is what she struggles to come to terms with.

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        • Tempest Penpusher
          2021-06-20T18:05:41+10:00Replied to answer on June 20, 2021 at 6:05 pm

          Cool. Sounds intriguing. Back to the drama then. Good luck with it. 🙂

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        • Tempest Penpusher
          2021-06-20T23:02:44+10:00Replied to answer on June 20, 2021 at 11:02 pm

          And sorry for writing a logline ‘to’ your logline, Tigerlil, particularly of a different genre. I realise that’s not what this site is for. I’m just such a logline junkie. I’ll have to sit on my hands.

          Good luck with the story.

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          • Tigerlil Penpusher
            2021-06-21T06:05:14+10:00Replied to answer on June 21, 2021 at 6:05 am

            Haha, that’s cool. I appreciate your interest.

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    2. Odie Samurai
      2021-06-22T05:55:45+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2021 at 5:55 am

      Intriguing premise, leaning towards:
      “A woman on the verge of suicide ignites a journey of reconciliation and self-forgiveness when replying to a 40-year-old letter from her imprisoned lover”

      1. Refashion to better grab the reader concerning suicide, letter, and journey.
      2. Who is this woman? E.g., a nurse that fell for a soldier that was captured. Prison guard? I would love to see the connection.
      3. Changed letter(s) to one letter – her destiny needs only a single action to start her journey.
      4. A location may help orientate the reader.

      Hope you find this constructive, keep going!

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