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ChristianMariePenpusher
Posted: January 10, 20172017-01-10T04:16:19+10:00 2017-01-10T04:16:19+10:00In: Comedy

Desperate to make money, Tyler impersonates his twin sister taking her job as an Ubher driver. With Ryley as his passenger, the two hit a series of road bumps along the way that makes a trip from the San Fernando Valley to Los Angeles much longer than expected.

Desperate to make money, Tyler impersonates his twin sister taking her job as an Ubher driver. With Ryley as his passenger, the two hit a series of road bumps along the way that makes a trip from the San Fernando Valley to Los Angeles much longer than expected.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2017-01-10T06:04:55+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2017 at 6:04 am

      What are the “road bumps”? ?The logline needs to be more specific about where the characters are going in terms of the plot. ?What is the girl’s.?specific dramatic problem created by her impersonation and what must she do about it?

      And characters are not usually named in loglines. ?However, character flaws or vulnerabilities usually are. ?(The flaw or vulnerability must be relevant to the action of the plot; that is, she can’t resolve the fine mess she’s gotten herself into until she faces up to, grows out of the character issue that got her into trouble in the first place.)

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    2. Knightrider Mentor
      2017-01-10T11:55:57+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2017 at 11:55 am

      As mentioned, names aren’t needed unless it is a franchise character an audience knows E.G. James Bond.

      It would seem to me the goal is to get from A to B, which means you have a road trip movie, which is could because you’ll have heaps to research to get the style pacing etc, but the why isn’t defined.

      Ok, so they are desperate and that gives the motivation, but the story needs something. You say they are a twin, but that doesn’t seem to play into the logline, is she mistaken for her sister if not they don’t need to be a twin.

      Needs some stakes, maybe a body in the boot, her sister is wanted by drug lords, what is the conflict in act 2?

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    3. RussellN Samurai
      2017-01-11T20:26:12+10:00Added an answer on January 11, 2017 at 8:26 pm

      It seems a bit disconnected – is Ryley his sister or his Ubher passenger? ?It does have?a good?amount of implied questions to intrigue.

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