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KnightriderMentor
Posted: February 6, 20192019-02-06T14:56:14+10:00 2019-02-06T14:56:14+10:00In: Action

Discovering he has super powers, an unstable, reclusive 18 year old is recruited by the Super Secret Service to help stop one their own wanting to use their combined powers to rule humanity.

The Super Secret Service

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    1. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2019-02-06T19:24:58+10:00Added an answer on February 6, 2019 at 7:24 pm

      I can’t help but see the similarity between this and X-Men.

      Inciting incident – I wonder if this is not the discovery of his powers but the appearance of the antagonist. A superhero is nothing without a super-villain to fight and that gives us the question and answer.

      Protagonist – Unstable and reclusive – I’d maybe pick one of these. In my mind the instability can easily suggest a lack of confidence and by arcing to becoming more stable they become more confident. I’m thinking of Rogue in X-Men. ?I also want to get a stronger sense of why we’re following this character. What specifically about this guy will mean he is the one who turns the tide against the bad guy. This is really important! He can’t just be another team member.

      Goal – Perfectly acceptable goal. I’d consider writing a logline from the antagonist’s POV too though to make sure their motives are as 3-dimensional as the protagonist’s. They have to have a reason why they want to rule humanity. In X-Men (sorry to keep referring back to it) Magneto has a backstory, motive, and justification for his actions – whether you agree with him or not, you still understand his POV.

      Hope this helps.

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