Logliner
Posted: 2017-03-25T11:58:42+10:00 In:

Halo Effect -Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?

Halo Effect -Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?
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    1. Uberwriter

      “Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?”

      A logline should not be the dramatic question of a story. It should be a sentence that raises that question. What does this mobster do which prompts the agent to catch him? After he’s gone through his transformation, you don’t describe anything the FBI should be spending their time on.

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