PaPa’s Machine
schlol50Penpusher
A spaceship full of freaky clowns land on earth, a retired circus ringmaster must restore calm using the only thing that will save the world, his clown car.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
I like the premise, but the logline doesn’t tell enough about the journey. As a result the genre is unclear- comedy, drama, family, etc. The backstory part should be shortened/condensed to make room.
Maybe replacing ‘hardships and malfunctions’ with the actual example(s) of hardships and malfunctions would make it more specific.
First of all, depending on the type of hardships that the disenchanted family man might encounter on his way home, viewers may/may not decide to watch the movie. Second, regardless of what decision they make, they will know what to expect.
Is there an alien attack? Does he get a call from his wife, saying that she’s divorcing him? Is the nature of his hardship family-related, financial, supernatural, military, or sexual?
Or is his failing Oregon business the only hardship that he is facing? (in which case ‘hardships and malfunctions’ could probably be omitted altogether.)
For me, the type of hardship would really not matter – I just don’t want to be in a situation in which I expected an alien attack, only to realize that it was actually about his gas running out. Or something like that. 😉
A character-driven period piece is always going to be a really hard sell, so I think you have to load the logline with positive selling points.
Is this a feel-good movie like It’s A Wonderful Life? A ‘state of the nation’ piece teaching us moral and emotional lessons from history, like Forrest Gump? Is it a star vehicle with an acting challenge for a lead actor. like Benjamin Button?
What’s going to get “bums on seats” for this movie – and how can you make that clear in your logline?