Logliner
Posted: 2018-10-20T22:18:43+10:00 In:

When a lonely teenager, raised by intelligent machines, dreams they are lying about the extinction of humankind, he decides to run away on a perilous quest to find other humans.

When a lonely teenager, raised by intelligent machines, dreams they are lying about the extinction of humankind, he decides to run away on a perilous quest to find other humans.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      >>>dreams that they are lying
      Lying about what?

      And what is so compelling about the dream that it motivates him to flee?

      >>>others like him

      Like him in what way?? Machine raised, too, or…?

      >>>overcoming his fear to be alone

      ???? Aren’t most people? What’s so unusual about that?

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    2. Singularity

      In a post-apocalyptic world, a boy being raised in the Outback by loving robots who tell him he is the only human left, goes in search of people who inhabit his dreams.

      32 words,? awkward, but…

      I think it would be more interesting if the robots are perfect parents.? He has no objective reason to doubt what they say, or resent or rebel against their parenting.? Hence, he has no “good” reason or desire to to leave? — except he must follow his dreams.

      This raises several dramatic questions.? Can he survive alone in the hostile environment of the Outback?? And will he find other humans?

      fwiw

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    3. Singularity

      >>>He is tired of waiting for something to happen

      I thought the incitement to action was the dreams.? Which is more compelling and fitting it seems to me given he’s being cast as a dude with a destiny.

      >>>He is capable of living from the fat of the land and confronting the perils that have been evolving on this island

      ?Fat of the land? in the middle of the Outback?? I venture that?s not the image the word ?Outback? conjures up in most people?s minds.

      Whatever, if that?s the way it is in the world of your story, it?s seems to me to be overlooking some of the archetypal gold of the plot: to wit, he undertakes a hero?s journey; trekking out of the Outback is a rite of passage. It seems to me that every step of the way his survival should be in doubt; he faces seemingly insurmountable obstacles, life-threatening? jeopardy.?

      fwiw

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    4. Singularity

      RE:?I never said he lived in the outback

      You wrote in an earlier comment:? “…go south of Australia (he is near Lake Amadeus).”? So I assumed….

      Whatever, my general point stands:? the setting should confront him with insurmountable obstacles, life-threatening jeopardy from the git-go.

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