Set in the ’80s
Manly Man begins with the death of a young gay dancer in whom the narrator finds a most sublime beauty and resemblance to himself.
Elliot is a frustrated editor who secretly attends to self-help groups for men in a conservative town. Seeing men ripped out of the real world; This gives him hope. On his search for self-determination and the ability to express himself, he meets Janine and Louis, with whom he forms a special bond.
Manly Man is a movie about the beauty of expression and the freedom of doing the right thing, even if dying would be the price to pay.
I prefer this version as it attempts to answer why he attends the self-help groups. Although you could have posted the second version as a comment here 😉.
Thinking out loud…
“In a male-dominated town” can be replaced with e.g., ”Set in an 80’s good old boy town, …”.
“a frustrated editor” suggestion “a closeted editor”.
“secretly attends self-help groups for men” coming from a small town myself, a single town folk will make it their business to know everyone else’s. In saying this, I’m not sure how secretive your protag actions can be especially in a group setting.
“to prepare himself against them” is a poignant statement – very powerful!
“after the death of a gay dancer” without your synopsis, this will appear to come from left field to the reader – suggest a logline rearrangement.
Example: Wordy, hope you get the idea.
“Set in an 80’s good old boy town with no justice for the recent death of a gay dancer, a closeted editor attends men’s self-help groups to prepare for the intolerance of his coming out declaration”
Hope you find this constructive; this is a solid premise.
Take care.
Thank you very much! This is very helpful. I was thinking the same thing about the “after the death of a gay dancer”, even for me it sounded a bit random, but I didn’t come up with something better yet. So thank you for the feedback!
Take care.