In order to find the real killer, a conscientious rookie detective partners with a pleasure-android, who claims the prime suspect in a murder investigation is innocent.
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In order to find the real killer, a conscientious rookie detective partners with a pleasure-android, who claims the prime suspect in a murder investigation is innocent.
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There’s no inciting incident here. You do have an interesting pairing, although the fact that it’s a pleasure-android really seems like a very random element in an otherwise cookie-cutter crime drama. Maybe give a hint at least about why this rookie would partner with it, and maybe one more word/element to serve as an allusion to sci-fi.
How does the partnership help them find the killer? And if the Android is reliable, then the prime suspect isn’t the killer, so what reason does the rookie have to doubt the android’s conclusion?
Agree with Scott Danzig. It seems to be a cookie-cutter crime caper. The only different ingredient is the pleasure-seeking android. I suggest reframing the story with her as the protagonist, the pov character, the prime suspect. She’s on the lam and must prove her own innocence, convince the detective she’s innocent, must discover the clues to the real culprit.
And I suggest the detective ought to be a seasoned, cynical, dogged veteran who has seen at all, heard every alibi, not a rookie. Make it harder — not easier — for her to persuade him of her innocence. A plot should be a conspiracy against the protagonist; the villain gets all the breaks; the protagonist shouldn’t get any. Like in “The Fugitive” where the prime suspect has to figure it all out by himself while being pursued by veteran, dogged FBI agent.
fwiw
In order to find the real killer, a conscientious rookie detective partners with a pleasure-android, who claims the prime suspect in a murder investigation is innocent.
Intention: to find the real killer.
Obstacle: ?
I like the odd couple angle – I think you should push down on that.
In order to find a killer, a techno-phobe detective partners with a pleasure-android, who claims the prime suspect, a woman he is slowly falling for, is innocent.
– I added some stuff here. “Techno-phobe detective” to heighten the conflict between this odd couple. “A woman he is slowly falling for” – I dunno. Might be a hook.
How about…
When his wife is murdered by an android, a detective must team with a pleasure-android, who claims the prime suspect, a human woman he is slowly falling for, is innocent.
– Made it more personal/primal by making it his wife. Detective now has quite an interesting arc. Might be a bit convoluted on first read I’m not sure.
Anyways. Good luck with this.