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Clint HorvathLogliner
Posted: September 28, 20152015-09-28T08:15:35+10:00 2015-09-28T08:15:35+10:00In: Crime

In the midst of his hired kill, a Hitman is visited by his drug abused Uncle and learns the essence of life through his six-year-old daughter.

In the midst of his hired kill, a Hitman is visited by his drug abused Uncle and learns the essence of life through his six-year-old daughter.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2015-09-29T08:25:20+10:00Added an answer on September 29, 2015 at 8:25 am

      A logline should not be about “life lessons learned” — that’s a subjective goal arising from an internal need.? A logline should focus on the external goal, what the main character needs to accomplish as a result of the inciting incident.

      So, as a result of being visited by his uncle — the inciting incident — what must the hitman do?? What become his objective goal? Who opposes him? What are the urgent stakes?

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    2. Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat Logliner
      2015-10-13T04:52:34+10:00Added an answer on October 13, 2015 at 4:52 am

      Hello ?Clint,

      I don’t agree with DPG whose advice matches with action movies (which is not exactly yours, unless I’m mistaken).

      IMO, you already have what you need in a logline (explicitement or implicitement):
      – a?catalyst (the visit of the uncle)
      – a hero (the hitman)
      – a flaw (he’s a villain)
      – an antagonist (his uncle and maybe his daughter)
      – an external goal (kill his next victim)
      – an obstacle/problem to solve (the visit of his drug abused uncle)
      – Something at stakes (his reputation and security?and?maybe his daughter)
      – a mentor (his 6 year old daughter)
      – an inner goal (a way to redemption?)
      – an arc… (which doesn’t mean he necessarily will changes of job. In a Tarantino’s movie, he would not hahaha!)

      Is this lesson about life the manner how his 6 year old daughter deals with his uncle’s addiction and some other consideration about their mutual relation? or something similar?
      If so, I find your logline good.

      “When a hitman is visited?by his drug abused Uncle in the midst of a kill, he is given a chance to learn the essence of life through his six-year-old daughter.”
      or
      “When a hitman is visited?by his drug abused Uncle in the midst of a kill, he is given a lesson about the essence of life through his six-year-old daughter.”

      Best.

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