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EverStridePenpusher
Posted: February 10, 20172017-02-10T23:24:06+10:00 2017-02-10T23:24:06+10:00In: Fantasy

In the year 3000 from the hell-break a homeless ex-soldier is dragged unwittingly in ancient war, when is hired by group of strange creatures in search for their homeland. With the help of an ancient artefact he fights recently awaken powerful enemy in bid to deliver his clients to safety and restore the age of prosperity.

In the year 3000 from the hell-break a homeless ex-soldier is dragged unwittingly in ancient war, when is hired by group of strange creatures in search for their homeland. With the help of an ancient artefact he fights recently awaken powerful enemy in bid to deliver his clients to safety and restore the age of prosperity.
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    1. Jonathan Green Penpusher
      2021-03-02T05:31:40+10:00Added an answer on March 2, 2021 at 5:31 am

      It sounds exciting, but I am a little lost.
      First you need to correct the grammar a bit …. “in the year 300o from the hell-break” … why “from” .. what is the hell-break? If this is a new concept you are introducing maybe you could put
      “150 years on from The Hell-Break” … but I am still not convinced. Sounds like a sequel and I am worried I have missed something…..
      “dragged unwittingly inTO an ancient war” …
      “when is hired” is not good English.
      “recently awaken powerful enemy” also is not good English….

      Just to correct what you have put … before we can look at if the logline works:
      In the year 3000, after the Hell-Break, a homeless ex-soldier is dragged unwittingly into an ancient war by a group of strange creatures in search for their homeland. With the help of an ancient artefact he fights a recently awakened powerful enemy in a bid to deliver his clients to safety and restore the age of prosperity.

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