Late afternoon August 18, 1966 South Vietnam – for three and a half hours, in the pouring rain, amid the mud and shattered trees of a rubber plantation called Long Tan, Major Harry Smith and his dispersed company of 108 young and mostly inexperienced Australian and New Zealand soldiers are fighting for their lives, holding off an overwhelming enemy force of 2,500 battle hardened Viet Cong and North Vietnamese soldiers.
wedoitliveLogliner
Late afternoon August 18, 1966 South Vietnam – for three and a half hours, in the pouring rain, amid the mud and shattered trees of a rubber plantation called Long Tan, Major Harry Smith and his dispersed company of 108 young and mostly inexperienced Australian and New Zealand soldiers are fighting for their lives, holding off an overwhelming enemy force of 2,500 battle hardened Viet Cong and North Vietnamese soldiers.
Share
Please read the Training tab on the top bar and re post.
Am sure you have a story in there somewhere, but it’s hard to see it in the current draft of the logline.
Aim your next draft as close as possible to 25 words.
Is this based on an actual historical incident?
In any event, at 70 words in length it is too long to properly evaluate as a log line. ?As suggested, please read the guidelines under “Training”.
Good god this is long and has far too many exact details and events. Just focus on the story.
During the Vietnam War, an inexperienced Major leads a company of 108 soldiers are trapped in a hospital during?torrential?rain and must protect the injured from 2,500 Viet Cong soldiers.
I don’t know if this is based off of a true story or if you just watched?Zulu?but try to get it down to something like my rewrite (which I just based off of?Zulu?as you didn’t have some of the information).
Try something along the line of : When an overwhelming force of Veit Cong soldiers attack their position, an untried Major must motivate his inexperienced soldiers to turn the tide of the battle.