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KaznatsLogliner
Posted: June 21, 20172017-06-21T22:49:31+10:00 2017-06-21T22:49:31+10:00In: Action

Lt. Colonel Tony Stryker, a military ?Bug Collector? fights to contain his own creation after its accidental release traps him in the hot zone of a third world island.

Lt. Colonel Tony Stryker, a military ?Bug Collector? fights to contain his own creation after its accidental release traps him in the hot zone of a third world island.
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    11 Reviews

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    1. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-06-22T08:44:11+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 8:44 am

      Kaz,

      I recommend using Military Scientist in favor of the MC’s name and ‘bug collector’.

      A military scientist must contain his dangerous hybrid insect warrior from escaping a third world island.

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    2. Kaznats Logliner
      2017-06-22T09:21:09+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 9:21 am

      Actually he is a biological collector and not a scientist at all. In the world of science real life collectors do exist for biological agents. You would not send a geek doctor into a hot zone where people are rioting to get out. His job is simple, go into dangerous places under quarantine and bring back the specimens of the most virulent or lethal pathogens. They send them to places like USAMRIID to ‘study’ just in case the US is attacked with these agents. Officially, we do not collect pathogens to use as biologicals, OFFICIALLY.

      I was a former scientist for years and worked with viruses, for whatever reason we referred to our microbes fondly as ‘bugs’. But thanks for the read and comment, I’ll gladly read yours and offer suggestions

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-06-22T09:37:54+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 9:37 am

      Point taken about the bug collector, it may actully create intrigue. I for one was curious about what a bug collectro means.

      I would, however, cut the character’s name as Foxtrot25 suggested – it’s superfluous and you could replace it with a flaw. If his job is to collect dangerous pathogens, why is he chasing his own creation? Did he creat a new ‘bug’? And what’s his end game to find a cure or escape the island?

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    4. Kaznats Logliner
      2017-06-22T10:59:25+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 10:59 am

      yes, it is a modern day version of frankenstein actually. He resurrects a 25 million year old virus then it escapes and starts killing people

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    5. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-06-22T12:57:21+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 12:57 pm

      In that case, I would define him as a scientist – for the laymen it makes the story clear despite not being entirely accurate.

      I.e:
      After a military scientist resurrects a prehistoric virus on an isolated Island, he must find a vaccine in time to prevent a pandemic.
      24 words.

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    6. Kaznats Logliner
      2017-06-22T21:05:27+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 9:05 pm

      A military ?Bug Collector? fights to contain an ancient virus after its accidental release traps him in quarantine on a third world island.

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    7. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-06-22T21:11:13+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 9:11 pm

      So this is about a virus and not the actual bug? The bug is simply how he gets to the island?

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    8. Kaznats Logliner
      2017-06-22T21:22:39+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 9:22 pm

      An ancient, resurrected virus escapes during testing on an isolated island. A bioweapons specialist has only 24 hours to contain it to prevent a pandemic.

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    9. Kaznats Logliner
      2017-06-22T21:31:50+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2017 at 9:31 pm

      the virus is used during a dual use clinical study that has both legitimate medical uses as a vaccine but also military ones as a ‘smart’ biological weapon capable of targeting and killing at the individual level. The problem is, the military accidentally made the virus have more nano-intelligence than initially designed and it finds a way out of containment. An outbreak of a new variant of flu begins killing kids with on the small island. This story is based on an actual incident that happened in 1977 that is responsible for the resurrection and global pandemic of H1N1

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    10. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-06-23T23:35:48+10:00Added an answer on June 23, 2017 at 11:35 pm

      A problem I see is that you made your antagonist invisible and speechless. The Dustin Hoffman movie worked because it was mostly about saving a divorce situation and then their own lives. The later antagonistic force was the Sutherland military option.

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    11. dpg Singularity
      2017-06-24T02:16:49+10:00Added an answer on June 24, 2017 at 2:16 am

      Very good point by Foxtrot25.

      The virus needs to be manifest as symptoms — and death to underscore the stakes — in on screen human victims. ?As in the “Andromeda Strain” (1971) and “Contagion” (2011).

      How else is an audience going to understand what he’s dealing with?

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