this hour long dramatic comedy will follow a Native American Indian who found refuge in the city that never sleeps after being exiled from her reservation not only due to her sexuality, but for having a child out of wedlock?
miiLogliner
this hour long dramatic comedy will follow a Native American Indian who found refuge in the city that never sleeps after being exiled from her reservation not only due to her sexuality, but for having a child out of wedlock?
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Hey mii,
you don’t need to mention the genre and length of your script in the logline.? It should be clear by reading your logline.
Also, what is the goal of your Native American refugee after he finds a new home in the city that never sleeps (I guess you mean NY by that)?
The dramatic question is not clear at all with this version.
Try to form a new sentence based on the general logline formula.
hello mii,
your version trimmed to –
“After being exiled from her reservation for having an illegitimate child, a Native American Indian finds refuge in NYC”
I agree with savinh0-in that-this logline doesn’t commit to plot-play but only sets a premise based on the Inciting event. There are a countless ways it could go from there.
The drama is clear, but where’s the comedy in trying to sustain oneself.
Who are the Act-II characters,
how does our protagonist relates with them-while holding true to “her need to settle”-might make way for your plot
one last question,
why specifically a Native American Indian? because if it doesn’t contribute to the events ahead, you can always reduce it into “a foreigner…”