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Paul ClarkeSamurai
When a cynical woman and idealistic man find themselves on a sinking boat far out to sea, they must find a way to work together to survive until help arrives.
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I’m having trouble understanding how the two got into this situation. If it is only them on the boat, they must work well together or they would not have gotten far out to sea. Or, are they the only survivors of a ship that sank and they are sitting in a leaky lifeboat? Or, is she a fisherman and he a tourist who hired her for a one day fishing tour, and then the motor broke down far from shore? Or did the crew of a small yacht leave them behind when they abandoned ship?
A bit more background would help us visualize the situation and understand the circumstances.
Describing these characters as polar opposites and putting them in a situation such as this screams romantic comedy to me.
Saying “find themselves on a sinking boat”… it sounds almost like they woke up and they were on the boat. It makes me want to know why they’re on the boat and this is actually somewhat irrelevant to the story. Maybe amend this to something like “When they are accidentally left behind on a sinking boat far out to sea….” This then explains something easily which could be a distraction to the main story.
I would maybe tell the longline from one of these two characters’ perspectives. Although with a cast of mainly 2 it’s not a big deal.
The final thing – how is this going to sustain a 90min+ runtime. I get that the boat could sink slowly… but surely the plan is “stay on the boat as long as possibly and call for help” what else is there? Don’t most boats have life rafts…? I feel like the situation needs more drama. By saying “until help arrives” suggests that help is on the way already. So it’s really just 2 characters waiting… how thrilling can it be?
Hope this helps.
>> “find themselves on a sinking boat”
Only “find themselves”? Something happened that forced them to make a conscious choice, an intentional effort take to a lifeboat to survive. What happened?
And why wouldn’t two people trapped on a boat work together to stay alive?? How believable that two such people would choose to die rather than work together??? Yes, the polarity may be the source of some lively arguments over the meaning of life, politics, art — whatever, but I don’t see how that in any way threatens their chances of survival.? The character traits defined seem incommensurate to the situation.