Penpusher
Posted: 2017-04-23T12:51:58+10:00 In:

When a feisty child psychologist fights the system to save a haunted boy, she?s fired but what she discover changes them all.

When a feisty child psychologist fights the system to save a haunted boy, she?s fired but what she discover changes them all.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      A logline should focus on informing a logline reader of the conflict arising in pursuit of an objective goal arising from an inciting incident — not teasing the reader with a “shocking” but unstated discovery made later in the story. ? (Check out “Formula” at the top of the web page of guidelines on formulating an industry acceptable logline.)

      What becomes the psychologist’s objective goal after she’s fired? ?What MUST she do? ?Who/what opposes her?

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    2. Singularity

      Agreed with DPG.

      The story seems to start after she is fired – this is her inciting incident.
      You could make her resulting goal to get her job back and her motivation to save the haunted boy.

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