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KWLogliner
Posted: April 28, 20172017-04-28T15:57:01+10:00 2017-04-28T15:57:01+10:00In: Drama

When a shy teenager finds herself torn between her life-long best friend and a potential new love, she discovers one of them is a projection of her mental illness.

When a shy teenager finds herself torn between her life-long best friend and a potential new love, she discovers one of them is a projection of her mental illness.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-04-28T18:52:06+10:00Added an answer on April 28, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      Be warned aginst an ‘it was all a dream’ plot.
      The old ‘it’s all in the character’s head’ story has been done many times and to great success, which means the demands on an upcoming writer trying to emulate said success are so high that it would be very difficult to pull off a script centered around this trope.

      That aside, it’s unclear what her goal is, what is driving her to take action in this story?

      Secondly, what event initially motivates her to take action, what is her inciting incident?

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    2. wickedink Logliner
      2017-04-28T20:41:23+10:00Added an answer on April 28, 2017 at 8:41 pm

      Hi, Why is the teen torn?between the two? Is her life-long friendship threatened by the potential boyfriend? ?Will she lose one if she chooses the other and why?

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2017-04-28T20:53:46+10:00Added an answer on April 28, 2017 at 8:53 pm

      The logline seems to gives away the Big Reveal, something a logline should never do.

      If the audience has to wait until the 3rd act to find out that one of them is a figment of her imagination, what is to keep them interested in the story until then? ? What is her objective goal up to that point? ? That is what the logline should be about.

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