When a timid zookeeper is held responsible for the death of a tiger, her only chance to save her job is to earn the trust of a traumatised former circus tiger and its bold caregivers.

An improvement, but I still have concerns.

Suggestions:

Drop “bold caregivers” because ultimately her objective goal? to keep her job entails winning over the trust of the tiger.? (She could win the trust of the caregivers and yet fail to win the trust of the tiger, right?? So she’s fired.)

Modify: “bold caregivers”. Not sure what that means.? Bold in what way? Are they allies in her effort?? For the sake of providing dramatic tension to the story,? it’s better if they are obstacles; they are skeptical, they doubt her ability, her competence. So she must win the trust of the tiger in spite of their doubts, in spite of the methods they are using to care for the tiger — not because of them.

Also add a ticking clock.? She has X amount of days or a week or whatever to win the trust of the tiger in order to keep her job.

Finally, I’m still a bit uneasy about framing her goal in terms of trying to keep her job.? Why does she need to keep her job?? What’s really at stake?? Her job security or the safety and welfare of the animals?? I suggest her objective goal be defined in terms of the stakes that will appeal to an audience.? And what will appeal to the audience is not her job, but the purpose of her job, to provide for the welfare of the animals.

fwiw