Logliner
Posted: 2017-01-21T07:03:33+10:00 In:

When an alien experiment crash lands in his backyard and gives him strange powers, a subdued teenager must use his new abilities and protect himself from malicious space hunters.

When an alien experiment crash lands in his backyard and gives him strange powers, a subdued teenager must use his new abilities and protect himself from malicious space hunters.
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Just a bit of specific detail to hold it together. Why are the space hunters out to get him?

      • 0
    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Yes, what’s at stake?

      And how can he have acquired ?”strange new powers” but be “subdued”?

      The concept needs clarification.

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Okay, a little clearer. ?But does “stolen alien experiment” mean that an alien has stolen an experimental spaceship? ?What’s the entity in “stolen alien experiment’? ?Is it rather the case than an alien has stolen an experimental space craft?

      And it seems to me that there’s a missing link (or three) in the chain of causation between the inciting incident and the resulting threat. ?The thieving alien commits GTS (grand theft spaceship) ?crash lands on earth…. and then ?”malicious creators’ come after not the thief, not the teen — but the teen’s family. ?Why are they being targeted? ?Shouldn’t the bad aliens be after the thief, the one who stole the experiment?

      Why are the teen’s family, collateral characters, in mortal jeopardy?

      • 0