When a traveling butcher’s grisly plans to take over a small town are revealed, an unassuming deaf man must use his hidden talents to protect his community.
schlol50Penpusher
When a traveling butcher’s grisly plans to take over a small town are revealed, an unassuming deaf man must use his hidden talents to protect his community.
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A man planning his own suicide is a risky MC to write. Suicidal Tendencies, in most cases, are not good traits for a main character. However, if you do succeed in making this a good comedy (perhaps using lots of black humour) it could work.
The big problem with the logline is the lack of detail, descriptions such as “…an unexpected intruder…”, “…finds help…”, and “…sympathetic souls…” are perfectly generic and add very little to the reader’s understanding of the story. I would also specify the wife’s death as the inciting incident- it’s a big event that really does shake his world and his motivation will be understood by most people around the world.