Logliner
Posted: 2017-05-08T02:25:45+10:00 In:

When diagnosed with terminal cancer, a shy gamer has a month to enlist help from her ex-eSports team in order to win an international competition.

When diagnosed with terminal cancer, a shy gamer has a month to enlist help from her ex-eSports team in order to win an international competition.

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    2 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      “When diagnosed with terminal cancer, a shy gamer has a month to enlist help from her ex-eSports team in order to win an international competition.”

      How much of the movie is her enlisting help?
      The other thing that I think you can add is a real connection, they’ve tried to win competitions before but have never been able to do it, and now is her last chance before she dies. Try making a specific antagonist, another team that always beats them.

      Here’s my try:??After she’s diagnosed with terminal cancer, a reclusive gamer has a month for?her ?eSports team to beat the only team they’ve lost to at an international competition. (28)


      Probably could be worded a bit better but I hope this helps.

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    2. Singularity

      There is no causal connection between the inciting incident and goal – she is diagnosed, and then must (?) win a competition. Why must she win?

      If, however, she was already the linchpin in a team of gamers and there was a lot riding on them winning but then she gets diagnosed, then the pressure is on and she MUST win with in a month or else.

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