When he arrives for a year in america, a reserved french student must learn to adapt to make the most out of the experience.
jumeriotLogliner
When he arrives for a year in america, a reserved french student must learn to adapt to make the most out of the experience.
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Adapt to what? What’s he reserved about? America bends over backwards for the people of the world compared to a giant list of other countries around the world that you could have set this in.
What’s his challenge while in America, specifically? Why is he reserved and about what?
Sounds like he can simply go back to France and solve his reservation.
Need more info about his plight.
It’s actually a logline for a novel. The guy is reserved because he can’t speak very well yet and he’s just a silent type of guy.
He’s being pushed into a new culture, new country, and a new high school around people he doesn’t know, which isn’t the easiest thing to do. He can’t really simply go back because his parents paid a lot of money and it’s a one year program. He wants to be there, it’s just not easy at first.
To add to Foxtrot25’s comment, I can’t see a hook there, and the stakes can be improved. For instance, “learn to adapt” could be made more specific (more specific is usually better in most cases) and “make most out of the experience” while relevant to the character, how can it be relevant to the audience as well? The most out of the experience could be in the end something that the audience could care about right a way? Like being opened to love, friendship… overcome some prejudice…?
Thank you Moviefreak81. Would using “to open up” instead of “to adapt” be better?
I thought of it all about a novel telling the story of a french boy spending a year abroad in the U.S. in a host family and in an american high school, with all the ups and downs that come with such an experience. I don’t really know what goal could come of it except experiencing it. I did an exchange like that for 4 months and I didn’t really have a goal in mind except becoming bilingual and experiencing life in the U.S.
That’s the thing.? If you want to write a sort of memoir, or biography, that’s fine, maybe you don’t need a logline. If you want to write a marketeable fiction, you need conflict, clear goal, a sharp logline that states all very clearly. Have a look at the examples section. See how clear the conflict, the goal and everything are.