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The_CNISamurai
Posted: March 8, 20182018-03-08T08:59:50+10:00 2018-03-08T08:59:50+10:00In: Fantasy

When her kingdom is sacked by the aztecs, a naive princess must use dangerous magic to protect the last of her people from the brutal jaguar warriors.

When her kingdom is sacked by the aztecs, a naive princess must use dangerous magic to protect the last of her people from the brutal jaguar warriors.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2018-03-08T16:42:16+10:00Added an answer on March 8, 2018 at 4:42 pm

      This logline works – it has all the major beats it needs and the story is clear enough.

      I urge you to push yourself and find a different/better flaw for the princes – ‘naive’ is so overused and passe a flaw for female characters. It comes across as more of a convenience flaw for the sake of giving her one than a genuine flaw which relates to the story. If she was a selfish, arrogant or a stuck up A-holee, she would need to learn to care about other people. this way you can give her a real negative character flaw which would make her inner journey interesting.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2018-03-11T07:41:01+10:00Added an answer on March 11, 2018 at 7:41 am

      I can see how the magic would be dangerous to her enemies — but is it dangerous to her?? If so, how?

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