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DisruptiveLogliner
Posted: September 24, 20192019-09-24T14:16:25+10:00 2019-09-24T14:16:25+10:00In: Drama

When mining pollutes the water table and the mine closes, a local outback town is left without employment. A local teenage rebel attempts to save the town by setting up a renewable energy company and entice the ?ornery locals to learn a new way of living.

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    3 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2019-09-25T07:41:36+10:00Added an answer on September 25, 2019 at 7:41 am

      So the teenager boots up a renewable energy company all by himself?? Where has he acquired the necessary capital in a town with widespread unemployment?? And the knowledge and skill to have mastered the technology?

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    2. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2019-09-25T19:25:45+10:00Added an answer on September 25, 2019 at 7:25 pm

      I agree with dpg.

      Since the inciting incident relates to the local townsfolk left unemployed by the closure of the mine, surely the goal is either to reopen the mine or create new employment opportunities for the locals. The framing of the inciting incident is key in how the goal plays out. If you focus on employment, then employment must be the centre of the goal.

      How is the fact that this teenager is a “rebel” relevant. Currently, I see nothing rebellious about their behaviour.

      Maybe consider an Erin Brockovich style story instead. David vs Goliath – teenager vs mining corporation instead. Although it’s possibly a little too close with a polluted water supply…. food for thought.

       

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    3. kpetrakis01 Logliner
      2019-10-05T08:53:51+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2019 at 8:53 am

      There’s a similar movie based in AFrica where a kid uses the education he could get to design a ‘dam’ to help his drought village use the water for the plants. I see a similar theme here where a kid uses knowledge? Ideas? Returns from uni? to install solar light or wind farm? And train people in the town skills in building, maintaining, marketing? this before the town dies or they lose hope.

      I like the sentiment of the idea, but I guess start thinking about what is the renewable energy, how does he /she go about it. Maybe it’s a group of uni students who return to help out.? Or a teenager whose idea won a contest and the greatest obstacle is the resistance to change?

      Defnitely something to work with here – maybe with more details, the logline will be able to work itself out.

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