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EethanSamurai
Posted: July 19, 20162016-07-19T14:42:33+10:00 2016-07-19T14:42:33+10:00In: Adventure

When overzealous backpackers breach the entrance to a subterranean temple, they awaken a territorial man-eating Yeti and must explore uncharted depths for dear life – and an exit.

When overzealous backpackers breach the entrance to a subterranean temple, they awaken a territorial man-eating Yeti and must explore uncharted depths for dear life – and an exit.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-07-20T06:08:51+10:00Added an answer on July 20, 2016 at 6:08 am

      When they?accidentally?wake a man-eating Yeti, three overzealous backpackers must search a dangerous subterranean temple to find an escape.?(~21 words)

      How many backpackers are there actually? I just made up three to put a specific number. I think it would help if you mention a specific reason they are there- to find a priceless artifact, looking for specific creature that isn’t the Yeti, but they happen to stumble across it because the Yeti is a guardian, etc. For what purpose are they adventuring?

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    2. [Deleted User]
      2016-07-20T18:59:14+10:00Added an answer on July 20, 2016 at 6:59 pm

      Why must they go deeper? Is the entrance they came through blocked? Very interesting concept but I think that needs to be a little clearer.

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-07-20T21:15:51+10:00Added an answer on July 20, 2016 at 9:15 pm

      Could you specify one of them as the main character? Best if you do as it would help visualise the story around one person’s goal, or in other words one plot.

      The inciting incident needs simplifying.

      After they awaken an ancient Yeti, subterranean explorers must kill the monster?if they are to find a way out of a vast cave system.

      Running in deeper contradicted the logic of searching for an exit, and they need a specific action and goal instead of just running to safety, that’s why I added must kill it.

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    4. Fma Samurai
      2017-02-22T12:25:46+10:00Added an answer on February 22, 2017 at 12:25 pm

      When 3 novice spelunkers?stumble into a giant underground lost city in Northern India filled with gold and greed leads them deeper into the caverns, their wildest dreams are replaced with sheer terror as they fight to save themselves from the giant man-eating Yeti who calls it home.

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