When she falls for an old flame at a student reunion abroad, an engaged CEO must decide whether to break off the engagement for the affair and move overseas without job and friends.
savinh0Samurai
When she falls for an old flame at a student reunion abroad, an engaged CEO must decide whether to break off the engagement for the affair and move overseas without job and friends.
Share
>>>and move overseas without job and friends.
1] She’s a CEO and she can’t find another job? ?Or start her own venture? ?That doesn’t seem to be a credible obstacle.
2] And in the age of email, Skype, Instagram and Snapchat ?she doesn’t have to utterly forsake contact with her friends. ?So that doesn’t seem like a credible obstacle either.
3] What about the poor schmuck she’s going to stand up? Isn’t he a greater complication than either the issue of job or friends?
4] The logline commits the common error of construing a “gotta decide” narrative as a plot.
It isn’t.
A logline should describe a plot. ?And a plot is about the consequences of a decision the protagonist?makes?–?not about the process of making the decision, or whether to make a decision.
Yes, a dramatic dilemma should arise as a result of a decision made — but that dilemma becomes a major issue way down the road, late in the 2nd or 3rd Acts. ?
And loglines are not about what happens later in the story. ?Loglines are primarily about the 1st Act: ?an inciting incident that motivates the protagonist to commit to an objective goal that entails struggle, conflict and opposition.
What this logline needs to tell us is what she does about her situation. ?Not whether she should decide — but what she decides to do (for better or worse) to solve her problem.
So, what is her decision? ?What becomes her objective goal — not her dramatic dilemma — but her objective goal??
And what is the biggest obstacle to her realizing that goal?
fwiw
Agreed with DPG.
Also, the stakes are pretty low and as a result, there’s no ‘hook’. With most people facing relationship issues in their real lives, what is it that’s unique about this concept that would make it worth the $20.00 to go see in the theater?
It’s a love story, stakes are always low.
Is it important about the reunion? No, could be a conference, so we can drop that.
Plus decisions are a split second event, hard to play out for over an hour.
To give it duration talk about the things leading up to the decision.
An affair with an old flame drags a woman away from her fianc? and CEO job to unemployment and a foreign country if she lets it.
Hope this helps.
Nobody ever complains about stakes being too high, they do about low ones.
Always good advice to raise the stakes especially in low concepts.
Savino perhaps you could find a stakes character such as a dependant child of some sort.
Rais the stakes.
Does it matter she’s a CEO?
Like dpg said, because she’s a CEO it could make the audience not root for her like you want for your protag.
She could just ?fly back and forth on her company jet if the relationship is that important to her. The fact her lover is abroad feels superfluous, it could happen in her hometown and feel the same.
In truth, this is very standard plot that’s been done a million times.