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Posted: 2016-08-16T00:04:10+10:00 In:

When the lands fairest Bride spurns an Evil Prince, he kills her father and takes her throne; but aid arrives for lone Princess from someone she never knew: her exiled mother.

When the lands fairest Bride spurns an Evil Prince, he kills her father and takes her throne; but aid arrives for lone Princess from someone she never knew: her exiled mother.
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    2 Reviews

    1. So… who’s the protagonist? The princess? Her mother? Someone else entirely? This is all very confusing, not only that why is the prince evil? And is he a baby when he does all of this? Why is she wanted in the first place? Also, do a punctuation and grammar check next time if you are going to post.

      The best I can do is;

      An ex-queen, exiled for being a witch, returns to aid her daughter after her evil grandson kills the King and takes the throne for himself and his mother is the only one left in his way…

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    2. Singularity

      Agreed with Moses, the plot is unclear and the wording is confusing. In addition it describes a deux ex machine ending – The magical mother meraculasly appears at the end to save the day.
      This is not as a direct result of the main character’s action.
      Could you change it so that the princess solves the problem herself?

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