Penpusher
Posted: 2022-06-24T23:15:47+10:00 In:

When two friends wake up to a sunless morning, they learn their roommate hasn’t come home from last night. After a failure to contact him or anyone else, they venture outside in an attempt to understand this anomaly.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      Such a cool premise, but with so much going on it makes this quite a hefty logline.

      When two confused friends wake up to a sunless morning, they must venture outside to find their roommate who never came home and figure out this anomaly.

      This does remove the making contact part, but I think that’s not the most crucial information here and is better left out for the sake of brevity

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    2. Penpusher

      Feels like you might be telling two separate stories here. Can you combine them into one fluid storyline?

      • 0
    3. Penpusher

      It feels like there is two different plot lines. Are they related? It’s a good start, but I feel it would be clearer if you make the relation more defined.

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