Logliner
Posted: 2017-06-07T15:19:21+10:00 In:

While the country is being swept by an epidemic where the people are gradually fading away from existence, a struggling poet tries to compose an ode to his amnesic father, but must deal with his overbearing mother who is hell bent on sending him abroad to escape from this fate.

While the country is being swept by an epidemic where the people are gradually fading away from existence, a struggling poet tries to compose an ode to his amnesic father, but must deal with his overbearing mother who is hell bent on sending him abroad to escape from this fate.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      emvshah,

      Your log is all over the place. I’ll try to break down what you wrote as I understand it.

      People are vanishing into thin air – That’s a damn big ass deal and something that I would make the main story obstacle 100% of the time.

      But you shift to:

      A poet (MC) focuses on a poem to his father who doesn’t even remember anything all the while this major holocaust is happening?

      And then his main antagonistic force he must deal with is his mother who wants to ship him away somewhere because she’s overbearing in the face of this human ending event?

      So that he can escape his fate? How is that related to the event?

      Saaaayyyy wwwhhhhaaatttt????

      I will say the vanishing thing is intriguing, however.

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    2. Singularity

      It’s hard to understand the plot from this logline.

      What is it the MC must acheieve? You describe him as a poet wanting ot write a poem, but what’s the worst that will happen if he doesn’t? Not much is the anwser, therefore his described goal isn’t very compeling.

      What else can you give the MC as a goal? I suggest you mine the vanishing people problem, you could have him need to save a loved one or find a way to stop the phenomina all together.

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    3. Singularity

      Like Nir Shelter, I can’t figure out what the story is really about.

      The story hook is people gradually fading away because of an epidemic. ?I don’t see how writing poetry builds on that story hook or is in any way as interesting. ? Why does it matter whether someone finishes a poem when there are bigger problems to worry about, like humanity ?dying off?

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