Penpusher
Posted: 2022-06-27T14:53:04+10:00 In:

Year 2000 hopefuls are bystanders as life throws cruel blow that will determine their once thought perfect futures.

Year 2000 hopefuls are bystanders as life throws cruel blow that will determine their once thought perfect futures.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      I love the premise but maybe try flipping the placements of some of the points, possibly:

      ‘When life throws him a curveball, the 2000’s hopeful must determine how to counter the cruel blow to save his perfect future’

      In saying that, I am unclear of what his perfect future is, nor do I know what the cruel blow is.

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    2. Penpusher

      Maybe be more specific as to what the event is, and start the logline with ‘When’ as well. Sure it will be a good story to read.

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