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When a less than confident daughter attends her parents wild 60th Wedding Anniversary Party without her husband, her image obsessed mother nit-picks her to reveal that her marriage is over.
Hi uniqueequine,I agree with everything said above but also want to add a few things:1) fix your spelling/grammar at the end:image-obsessed mother nitpicks her, revealing that her marriage is over.2) The end statement about revealing that her marriage is over doesn't provide us with an action for thRead more
Hi uniqueequine,
I agree with everything said above but also want to add a few things:
1) fix your spelling/grammar at the end:
image-obsessed mother nitpicks her, revealing that her marriage is over.
2) The end statement about revealing that her marriage is over doesn’t provide us with an action for the daughter. What does she do after realizing her mother is right? Get drunk and sleep with her father’s best friend? Her mother nitpicking her is not the story but what she does as a result IS.
Also, you don’t need to capitalize “wedding anniversary party” and it’s “parents'” with an apostrophe since it’s possessive.
Good luck!
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