Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a sentient video game character falls in love with the real-life player, she must get rid of the other characters to gain the player’s affections, even if that means rewriting the game script.
I believe that it's a little ambiguous as to whether the sentient video game character is an avatar or NPC. Also, I believe that the conflict isn't well defined, and I'm not sure why she needs to get rid of other characters to earn his affection. But I do like the idea of rewriting an entire script,Read more
I believe that it’s a little ambiguous as to whether the sentient video game character is an avatar or NPC. Also, I believe that the conflict isn’t well defined, and I’m not sure why she needs to get rid of other characters to earn his affection. But I do like the idea of rewriting an entire script, and the ideas that can flourish off of that plot point.
See lessTrying to finally get a social life, a shy introvert struggles to fit in with his cousin’s crass friends on the road to a music festival.
This is a good spark to a story, but I believe that it needs more conflict and stakes. A shy introvert can be a relatable character, but you need to establish him/her as someone who enjoys music, or sees a sentimental value in it. Furthermore, this would give us reasons to believe that he wants to tRead more
This is a good spark to a story, but I believe that it needs more conflict and stakes. A shy introvert can be a relatable character, but you need to establish him/her as someone who enjoys music, or sees a sentimental value in it. Furthermore, this would give us reasons to believe that he wants to travel with friends to a music festival. Also, you’ll need more stakes to provide conflict in the story. Although their is internal conflict with your character description, it needs external conflict. You could describe his friends as being reckless and dangerous, and this could make the reader care about what happens to the introvert when traveling with them.
See lessWhen Marcus Rosen is attacked by a unknown assailant, he awakens a hidden power that he eventually must use to stop evil from destroying humanity.
This is a good start of an idea for a log line, but I believe that it's too vague to draw in readers. I'm also confused on what the "evil" is. I'd like to know what the hidden power is, or from where it originated. Another tip that I can give is that storytelling needs irony. Irony produces interesRead more
This is a good start of an idea for a log line, but I believe that it’s too vague to draw in readers. I’m also confused on what the “evil” is. I’d like to know what the hidden power is, or from where it originated. Another tip that I can give is that storytelling needs irony. Irony produces interest in a story. Furthermore, I believe that irony is integral when creating log lines. Also, try to hook in the reader when reading this log line by providing more information. What is the evil that you’re referring to, and how if the hidden power being awakened? Also, what is Marcus Rosen’s occupation or interest?
See less