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A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.
This is? a review of a previous logline under the guidance those who know more than me in this area, and a slight change in my script overtime.? Wisdom and advice is always taken humbly on board and much appreciated.
This is? a review of a previous logline under the guidance those who know more than me in this area, and a slight change in my script overtime.? Wisdom and advice is always taken humbly on board and much appreciated.
See lessWhen a disguised terrorist on a mission in his country sets him up in a train bomb attack, a dropout battles to evacuate panicking passengers who will be killed in his name.
Although I don't yet feel I'm qualified to give too much advice on loglines I still felt confused by a couple of things in your logline. - "sets him up in a train bomb" - Who sets who up in a train bomb? The disguised terrorist sets up the? drop out? - " dropout" - I thought this may be too broad aRead more
Although I don’t yet feel I’m qualified to give too much advice on loglines I still felt confused by a couple of things in your logline.
See less– “sets him up in a train bomb” – Who sets who up in a train bomb? The disguised terrorist sets up the? drop out?
– ” dropout” – I thought this may be too broad a term. Does this really best describe you’re protagonists flaws?
I felt the sentence was a bit long and I had to read it a few times for it to make sense. My apologies if I sound too critical but I do think it could be quite a nice action packed story.
When a teenager loots methamphetamine from a crime scene, he must sell to it to pay for his dads failing business before the owner, a psychopathic cop, hunts him down.
This was my previous logline: When teenagers loot drugs from a crime scene, their mission to sell it goes wrong when they discover the owner is a psychopathic cop hunting them down. I changed it after doing Karel's webinar but may still need work, I'd appreciate any feedback. I don't like looking atRead more
This was my previous logline:
See lessWhen teenagers loot drugs from a crime scene, their mission to sell it goes wrong when they discover the owner is a psychopathic cop hunting them down.
I changed it after doing Karel’s webinar but may still need work, I’d appreciate any feedback.
I don’t like looking at my new logline as it really gives my protagonist a bad look as he only took such measures out of desperation. I think it’s also hard to root for a character who is doing something illegal to make money. I will review this logline myself to perhaps make it clear he’s acting out of desperation. There is a lot of character growth which I’d like to squeeze in there as well.
Thanks