Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
The early life and career of the 5 Elements’ founder Rosh Goldman is presented alongside the rise of extremism in the Middle East, while the Rhodium Golems reunite one year after their victory to prevent the resurrection of Project Athena.
Hi Swevius, Your story seems to be interesting but I didn't get much while reading it. I had to search the name "Rosh Goldman" because I thought it was a real person. It is probably the name of your main character. I'm currently studying a screenwriting program (that suggests submitting one's loglinRead more
Hi Swevius,
Your story seems to be interesting but I didn’t get much while reading it. I had to search the name “Rosh Goldman” because I thought it was a real person. It is probably the name of your main character. I’m currently studying a screenwriting program (that suggests submitting one’s logline on this website actually). One of their advise is not to name your character because we don’t really need it and in your case, it was very confusing. What are Rhodium Golems and Project Athena ?
Instead of giving their names, you should shortly describe them so that we can identify them as the antagonist or protagonist or what’s at stake.
Also even if it’s important to you, while presenting your project I believe it could put you and your project in a disavantage point to mention any spectic geography or political references.
Last point of suggestion, “is presented”, make your main character more active and do something. Your formulation makes him look passive and therefore not really interesting to follow on his journey.
Hope these feedbacks and thoughts will help you. Keep it up ! Take care
BO
See lessTo save a retirement home from bankruptcy, its uptight director must convince her estranged, obnoxious father to make a significant donation, or face losing her job and custody of her daughter. But when he insists on playing a role in running the home, the director must balance the need to keep her father’s money with the increasing annoyance of the home’s residents with the coarse intruder.
Hi Michael, your concept is great but as Odie suggested, you probably want to make it shorter to read ! Good luck on your project. Sounds like a fun movie to watch !
Hi Michael, your concept is great but as Odie suggested, you probably want to make it shorter to read ! Good luck on your project. Sounds like a fun movie to watch !
See less