This sounds promising, but also unintentionally narrow. If I weren’t to assume anything else about this story, I could tell it in about five pages: A woman is upset about something (that will be addressed later – carefully, to avoid blatant exposition), and turns to her family for comfort. Her father’s financial and legal issues (coincidentally) collide with her own when the police come to issue a warrant, and recognize her as the person of interest in another case. Panicked, she resists arrest (could be a fun “fight” scene), and either flees, is captured and arrested, or tragically killed in the scuffle.

Is this the entire story, or just up to the inciting incident?
Whether a short or a feature, what is her ultimate goal, and how is she meant to achieve it?

I hope to read your next logline draft.

This is good. I think the only things I would change are:

• find a better word than “spurn” (to reject with disdain or contempt). Perhaps “forgoes” or “renounces”
• remove “for military glory”

It would then read as follows:

In 1915, after a promising Australian sprinter renounces athletic glory by enlisting in the Great War, he must survive the carnage of the doomed Gallipoli campaign in Turkey.

Or perhaps:

In 1915, a promising Australian sprinter renounces athletic glory by enlisting in the Great War, and must survive the carnage of the doomed Gallipoli campaign in Turkey.