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An alien woman comes to earth to mate with a deadbeat stoner. Only one thing stands in her way…a psychotically jealous, nut-job girlfriend.
You can condense the second sentence, we need to know whats at stake. An ellipses is a waste of space and also consider giving us an idea of the inner journey, will the alien defeat the girlfriend?
You can condense the second sentence, we need to know whats at stake. An ellipses is a waste of space and also consider giving us an idea of the inner journey, will the alien defeat the girlfriend?
See lessDriven by the loss of his family to terrorism, the creator of pre-birth screening is led on a journey to discover the brave new world he thought he created just might be the nightmare he rallied against in his youth.
This is good, consider breaking it into two sentences, right now your clauses are stacking up. "Brave New World" is a tired reference, unless you're literally remaking that book (or play) - don't use it. Remove the "maybe" - this is the log line, not the tag line - will he or not? Be specific.
This is good, consider breaking it into two sentences, right now your clauses are stacking up. “Brave New World” is a tired reference, unless you’re literally remaking that book (or play) – don’t use it. Remove the “maybe” – this is the log line, not the tag line – will he or not? Be specific.
See less