1. Posted: July 27, 2018In:

    After a new energy source is used to power an entire city, a young cleaning lady is called to protect the city from supernatural threats called Jinn that are attracted to the energy source. The Jinn take over human bodies and give their hosts supernatural powers.

    Best Answer
    Douglascgilbert Penpusher

    Nice work. much better. It leaves me with the questions that make me want to hear more.

    Nice work. much better. It leaves me with the questions that make me want to hear more.

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  2. Posted: July 27, 2018In:

    After a new energy source is used to power an entire city, a young cleaning lady is called to protect the city from supernatural threats called Jinn that are attracted to the energy source. The Jinn take over human bodies and give their hosts supernatural powers.

    Best Answer
    Douglascgilbert Penpusher

    Who would call on a cleaning lady to protect a city, and why? Is there something special about her? I want to read this logline from bottom to top. What is the connection between the Jinn and the new energy source?

    Who would call on a cleaning lady to protect a city, and why? Is there something special about her?

    I want to read this logline from bottom to top. What is the connection between the Jinn and the new energy source?

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    • 0
  3. Posted: July 27, 2018In:

    A mentally & physically abused teen witnesses the murder of his family. Now an Adult, he enacts revenge on the entire family responsible.

    Douglascgilbert Penpusher

    How does the mental and physical abuse relate to the murdered family or the murdering family? The concept sounds interesting, but familiar, and a special twist would make it juicy.

    How does the mental and physical abuse relate to the murdered family or the murdering family?

    The concept sounds interesting, but familiar, and a special twist would make it juicy.

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    • 0