My usual m.o. for evaluating a logline is to approach it as if I were a movie producer. That is, I know nothing about the “back story” of the logline, how it came to be written, the versions and revisions it went through. Nor can I read the writer’s mind. All I can read are the words in the logline.

The logline must stand on its own.

Now then. Were I a movie producer, I would be initially interested in the logline because littering is a prime pet peeve. So on one level (whether the writer intends it I know not) I can see in the story a parable for our troubled and trashed times. That is, to clean up the environment, save the world from the consequences of global warming, think global–and start local.

But to my sensibility, the critical story elements don’t cohere.

For one thing, the character flaw is fungible to the action and purpose of the plot. And to the implicit character arc. By that, I mean you could swap out “small-time thief” for her being a drug dealer, a prostitute, a forger, a murderer — and there would no apparent difference to her purpose in the plot. Nor would it alter her overall character arc. (What is her character arc, anyway?)

But the nature and trajectory of the character arc is contingent on the nature of the character flaw. A change in the flaw entails a change in the character arc.

The character flaw should relate to the plot as a whole in that it constitutes a serious impediment to achieving the objective goal. So if she doesn’t overcome the flaw, she can’t achieve her goal.

And it is usually the case that there is a thematic subtext to which the character flaw and the character goal are both connected. I am unable to intuit one.

Further, while she may want to help her nephew, there is no evidence suggesting why she “must help him” arising from either her character or her predicament.

Finally, I fail to see how her “career choice” qualifies her to protect her nephew. If she were a murderer or a robber, or an enforcer — yes. But a mere petty thief? I don’t think so. Petty thieves are snatch and run criminals, not snatch and fight.

My 2.5 cents worth.

YaelEinstein:

I get a sense there of an interesting story in your premise, but I’m not yet sure. Which is to say, I’m not quite hooked on the concept. And that’s the primary purpose of a logline, to hook a producer or director on a story idea, to excite his imagine, to engage his curiosity enough to want to read the script. A logline is a sales pitch for the script.

RE:
>>>she must choose between accepting her life as it is or chasing a great adventure that may not be real<<<

As a general rule, loglines (and plots, since a logline is a summary of a plot) are not about characters having to make a choice. Loglines (and plots) are about the *choice made*. More specifically, the choice made to pursue an *objective goal*, to solve an *urgent* *problem* before dire consequences (* the stakes*) occur.

The current logline lacks the elements I have indicated with asterisks. These are elements producers and directors demand to see in a logline. If they don't see them, they're not going to read the script. I suggest you continue to brainstorm your concept for ideas to infuse your concept with in those elements.

fwiw