1. Posted: May 2, 2019In:

    A social progressive born on the brink of twentieth century America struggles to form and maintain the ACLU throughout the World Wars while coming to terms with his own ethically dubious past

    dpg Singularity

    >>> most people are familiar with the ACLU but not with Roger Baldwin.I think your logline ought to include both.What is the overarching objective goal (or relationship) that drives the plot?>>>while coming to terms with his own ethically dubious pastHmm.? I suggest that could be aRead more

    >>> most people are familiar with the ACLU but not with Roger Baldwin.
    I think your logline ought to include both.

    What is the overarching objective goal (or relationship) that drives the plot?

    >>>while coming to terms with his own ethically dubious past

    Hmm.? I suggest that could be a problem in terms of the plotting? (and a logline for it). A plot is about what the protagonist is looking forward to, not back upon. About achieving a future objective goal, not resolving a subjective problem embedded in the past.

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  2. Posted: April 30, 2019In:

    After blowing his investor?s money in one drunken night, a socially awkward college student struggles to produce a movie with no budget or risk being found out.

    dpg Singularity

    Aidan Soguero>>>The unifying concept, and you might diss this for being cliche as well because it kind of is, is this characters coming-of-age.On the contrary, I can see this as a coming of age story and I respect the genre. (I'm writing one myself.) Coming of age stories are about (among oRead more

    Aidan Soguero
    >>>The unifying concept, and you might diss this for being cliche as well because it kind of is, is this characters coming-of-age.

    On the contrary, I can see this as a coming of age story and I respect the genre. (I’m writing one myself.) Coming of age stories are about (among other things) a loss of innocence, a protagonist who learns a bitter truth about life.

    Re: “Man on Fire”:
    The film is a good example of a story with a strong midpoint reversal. Even so, it’s really one unified plot in terms of the emotional arc. And the mercenary’s objective goal: his job is to protect the young girl, keep her alive.

    Also, as I suggest in my comment on a logline for the film, the emotional and thematic subtext — she has saved his life; now he must save hers –supercharges the film with an emotional current that raises it above being merely an action-thriller or flawed-hero-to-the-rescue film. The audience is all-in, completely invested emotionally in the struggle, rooting for, wanting the mercenary to rescue the girl.

    What is there in your story that will get the audience emotionally invested? in the young man’s struggle? To achieve what overarching objective goal?

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  3. Posted: April 25, 2019In:

    In 1977, a reformed ex-con, desperate to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, returns to his old life of drug dealing but soon learns the game has changed and the players are more ruthless than before.

    dpg Singularity

    thedarkhorse: I have personally come to distinguish between? two kinds of a loglines:? the first to develop a script and? the second to market it. (As mentioned near the bottom of the "Our Formula" web page.)? The logline you tweaked? lays out the elements plot for developing a plot for the script.Read more

    thedarkhorse:

    I have personally come to distinguish between? two kinds of a loglines:? the first to develop a script and? the second to market it. (As mentioned near the bottom of the “Our Formula” web page.)? The logline you tweaked? lays out the elements plot for developing a plot for the script.

    But now that you’ve completed the script, I suggest you need to consider a logline for marketing the script.? And in my book, the most important element in a marketing logline is the story hook, the aspect of the story that will grab a logline reader’s attention and make him want to read the script.

    What’s the? eye-ball-grabber, must-read feature of this script?? (Ditto for the other two scripts you said you’ve completed.? What’s the story hook?)

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